If you want to talk I have time to listen….

About anything. This is an opportunity to get something off your chest or satisfy your curiosity. Is there something you’ve been thinking or feeling but can’t explain easily? Maybe I’ve got the words you’re missing.

Fair warning: I probably can’t provide any insights on your civil engineering dissertation, or help you win an online chess match.

In my experience, the tough topics seem to be spirituality and sexuality. These are the subjects that people most often feel they can’t discuss with family or close friends. Sometimes because they worry about being misunderstood, sometimes because talking about these things isn’t safe in certain cultures.

I’m not a medic, or a psychiatrist, and I will never tell you what to do because I’m not qualified to do so – but I know how the human brain works and that has taught me one very important thing: there are no bad people. Everyone does what makes sense to them.

So tell me what’s on your mind. I will not call you a deviant, or a heathen, or a pervert. I can only try to help you make sense of your own thoughts and feelings… and if I think it might help, I will suggest other people who may be able to give you answers and advice that I can’t.

Some things I’ve written about and helped people with recently:

  • Body image, self-esteem and body dysmorphia
  • Doubts about religion and living as an atheist.
  • Being a non-believer in a religious family/society.
  • Making a decent cup of tea.
  • Social or family pressure to marry, have children.
  • Being gay / bi / trans.
  • Open relationships and other alternatives to monogamy.
  • Sexual health (prevention, testing and treatment – including PrEP).
  • Facts about HIV and dealing with HIV stigma.
  • The world of sex work, and sex workers’ rights.
  • Living in an inner city apartment which means you can’t keep a duck as a pet.

Again, I’m not a professional, but I’m also not an asshole (usually). I’m happy to talk about all these things and anything else. Ask a question here or send me a DM. I have the time. It won’t be a bother.

2 thoughts on “If you want to talk I have time to listen….”

    1. As I wrote, people do what makes sense to them. Bruce McArthur did what made sense to him. That doesn’t make him any less guilty for his awful crimes. However, simply calling him a ‘bad person’ ignores the reasons for his terrible actions.

      Preventing people like Bruce McArthur from doing ‘bad things’ is much easier to achieve if we understand them, rather than simply categorizing them.

      But hey, if the definition of ‘bad person’ is simply someone who does ‘bad things’, then fine, there are bad people. But I’m suggesting that using language that way doesn’t get us very far when it comes to preventing future crimes and protecting vulnerable people.


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